A Varnish Cover
Varnish to cover the cracks
A sheen that glows through the murk
Layered on thick but watered down and dilute
Reflecting the world to hide all the dirt
A cement of sand without substance
Grainy with grit that flakes in hand
Enough of a wall to scare all only the confused
Barely bonded to take on the stand
Emulsion coated over fissures
Water repellent to stave off the leak
Sooner or later the colour fades away
And the flood returns a flow ever sleek
Wallpaper hanging by threadbare nails
Awaiting a saviour once more to arise
Only showing a picture if joy behind dark fittings
To slip away when the light burns and tries
Panelling that appears like oak logging
Is hollow and hiding the fragile inside
Would be easily lifted if the tacks are resisted
The façade to then fall to the aside
A veil that hides all imperfection
The first line to protect the failings behind
It shows as a mirror to deflect all the set ulterior
The last hope for the illusion undermined
JS
24/1/12
To Believe
To walk with her barefooted in the dew
To see a sunrise erupt from the gloom
To watch the moon as it takes the night
To see stars in her eyes a shimmering sight
To hold her hand in spite of the rain
To understand the diversion eked from pain
To want to be as to not be apart
To etch a future from an overgrown past
To desire this touch above all else
To give all life for her above the self
To wander only to find solace in she
To know forever would still too soon be
To believe as two that one is to live
To above all others only her to receive
To hold her heart as she holds yours
Is to believe your love will eternally soar
To walk barefooted in the dew
JS
18/1/12
Chill in the Air
There’s a chill in the air
On the tip of my breath
Burning through my bones
A solid forced through a mesh
Ice crystals stirring on mass
In the depths of my veins
Searing to my heart
Against blood pressure’s tight restrain
There’s a gloom in my gut
On the edge of tearing through
Crushing up this rib cage
An egg pushed into a crescent moon
An internal global warming
From a heart I thought had lost its glow
Melting every frozen particle
That could flood these organs if allowed to flow
Sand bags along the oesophagus
Blast the oncoming floods with ice
Bring about frozen equilibrium
So the chill comes once again enticed
JS
18/1/12
Source: theanonyblogger.wordpress.com
Full Circle
‘Take my hand’
She whispered as we headed into the night
‘Don’t ask where we’re going’
She implored as she leapt and took to flight
‘Hold on more tightly, don’t dare let me go’
And instantly I wondered
What would happen if I might?
‘Close your eyes’
She instructed as we landed on the ground
‘Follow my exact lead’
She maintained as we tiptoed without any sound
‘This is my secret, the reason you’ll never leave’
And as tempted as I may have been
I dared not to look around
‘Behold what I hold dear’
She started when we finally rested and stopped
‘See what became of all us’
She whimpered as to her knees she then dropped
‘We did this to ourselves over time on a whim of power enslaved’
And I believed her every word
That something more was hoped
‘Is this what you wanted?’
She accused as I adjusted to the devastation I saw
‘I hope you are happy now’
She attacked as she knocked me to the floor
‘Now you have to stay here for now and ever more’
With that she vanished to leave me broken and torn.
‘And this is why I can’t take you’
I tell you as you plead and beg to go
‘it will free me but steal you’
But still you don’t want to know
‘Just take me it’ll be different, please I need to see’
And with a sigh I take a chance
And reach out a hand to take you in tow
JS
15/1/12
Light Up and Infuse
Light up my life
With a candle burning thin
Seal up my heart
With a cooling brand soaked in sin
Nail into my chest
A lung just made from tin
Poor in the acid
To corrode me from deep within
Infuse me with hope
With an incense of summer delight
Open my heart
With the essence of the sunlight
Unhinge the barriers
That seal in these plights
Pour in the alkali
To neutralise the scold into delight
Infuse my life
With a waxing never waning light
JS
15/1/12
Bowed and Broken
Bowed and Broken
I was bowed to you
Still you split me to the core
Made me lead towards an inferno
To brand me with your scores
Suddenly subservient to you
In the hope that wounds might heal
Still came the brow beating
The lashes landing never far apart
I stood on snapped bones
To be broken down to scrapped knees
Never to grow outwards from here
Just to fester in these rotten leaves
So I rooted down fast
Digging in as far as there was reach
With every beating endured
Brining nourishment to rooted feet
When the rains came
I grasped with braches out stretched
For you may have felled me
Yet in the end I’ll claim your breach
And as the sun rose
In springtime with warming rays
To bring me new life
A secret uprising without your say
I was bowed to you
As you split me to the core
But as I grow still strong
Your grasp on this will last no more
JS
9/1/12
Source: t.co
Moving
You look at me fraught with an expression that screams at me not to leave you, not to move from this spot, not to change anything about this moment we are captured in. I look at you, trying to avoid the eye contact that will break my resolve. Trying to remain expressionless and hide the deeply set feeling in me that screams at me that as much as I want to stay with you I just can’t. I tell you it will be okay, in whispered words like a potion that you would have believed an hour or two ago. I try to convince you that I will be back, but I implore and insist to ardently and I see the fall of hope in your eyes like the descent of a blind to shut out the day light. I know that every word flies erroneously off my tongue lashes you like a three pronged whip, scarring you like a brand. A tattoo etched upon your heart by my design and against your will.
Slowly I rise, trying carefully not to upset you anymore but seeing the dishevelment increase even though my actions are sure and fluid. You get up indignantly, deliberately destroying what might have been left of the peace between us in the crumpled sheets. Then comes the look; thrown at me like a hand grenade with a short fuse, exploding in my vision to blind me with your emotion. I hear your bare feet patter lightly across the buffed laminate floor into the kitchen and as far away from me as this small apartment will allow you to, leaving me to stand alone a taste of my own battery acid medicine.
This is the pivotal moment, if I chase after you I will end up lying to you all over again, if I just leave I destroy you without a second look. If I leave I am a coward, if I stay a monster. I ponder a little too long, but in the end I chose to be a monster and not to lie. It may hurt now, but in the long run it has to be the best decision. Doesn’t it?
JS
3/2/12
Source: theanonyblogger.wordpress.com
Touch
A finger teased along a spine
A touch that was etched deep into all time
The shiver felt deep within
For something lost and coursing thin
Now awoken with a touch
To set off sensation that’s all too much
A body tightens with some delight
Or is it the fear of oncoming plight
Flowing with desire but despising response
Comes with the territory of sense aloft
To want that was had to be lost
A figurative sum of a mind’s cost
And so with a whisper of a touch
The bearing of is all too much
As her faith in love was stolen
Once the seal of belief became broken
JS
2/1/12
Source: theanonyblogger.wordpress.com
All I Ever Wanted
All I ever wanted was to be needed
Now all I do is cry as you’re bleeding
Was it that hard to stay by my side?
Instead you ran, I had to find where you hide
All I needed was you to be true
Left distraught and alone as you said we’re through
The last drops to fall were own not mine
Because I knew revenge would come in time
All the truth I saw was smoked and blind
The pain you inflicted belted from behind
In the end the snake caught its own tail
Lying on this floor now you are impaled
All the blind rage subsided as you died
It’s funny I thought I’d be empty not overjoyed
So I’ll leave now another coffin in the ground
As I entered the world you left no one heard a sound
All these deaths I purvey caused by others hands
Not a case of me burying a head in the sand
If I’m injured I attack it’s the way I survive
What does it matter that I never thrive
All these hands know is life after loss
Wanting to be loved with its happiness gloss
Turning to walk away it’s time to move on
So says the raven with her after life song
All I ever lost was the want to be needed
Now all I do is suffer with the bleeding
It’s always so hard to stay by my side
As even myself I cannot somehow abide
JS
9/12/11
Seasons
Like dead leaves in autumn
The wind will wash me away
To a place to rot and disintegrate
For the fall I will forever pay
A bird’s nest abandoned for winter
Snow and rains will cover my all
A veil to hide the dissatisfaction known
For the embarrassment in which I stand tall
The lost glove drenched in spring’s gutter
Icy dew to eat away at the remains
Eventually what was known will fade by
For my own memory I’ll suffer the pain
Sun burn peel away the summer’s epidermis
Is it renewal or a cancer to breed?
A new start or just a new mask layer
For every season all change brings more need
JS
13/12/11
